Worlds rudest cities

I like this one: Worlds rudest cities

Parisians are typecast as the surliest, rudest and most smug of Europeans. And let's face it, why shouldn't they be? They live in one of the most beautiful, poetic cities on the planet, so they're entitled to a little attitude. It's when their sense of superiority turns malicious - by mocking anything that's not oh-la-la French - that things can get hairy.

Here are a few simple tips to minimise merciless mockery from a condescending Parisian: never order your steak well done - the French like their meat bloody and moo-ing. And never ask for ketchup. It's, how zey say, very gauche. And, please, remember always to use your "inside" voice. Take cues from Parisians, who are generally soft-spoken. There's nothing more irksome to the French than a braying foreigner. Quel horreur.

There's a certain amount of sartorial snobbery in Milan that makes most tourists stand out instantly. This is where Italian designers such as Versace, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci come to show off their wares, and where you'll find a disturbing number of unnaturally tall, rail-thin models who make the rest of us feel like midget dwarfs in lumberjack shirts.

Many tourists in Milan are the victim of a condescending once-over that makes them feel as if the Gap shorts they picked up on sale are not so much so last year as so no year at all, a feeling that can easily descend into a total, annihilating sense of insignificance. We suggest you go in the comforting knowledge that for the price of one of their fancy schmancy handbags, you could buy 300 pairs of generic, mainstream - but very serviceable - shorts. Who's the sucker now?

London is a city of pomp and circumstance whence the British monarchy once ruled a global empire. And where words like "whence" used to be used. Londoners operate under a code of civility that's at once impenetrable and deceptive. Brits are notorious for being unreadable, inscrutable business opponents beneath their veneer of Victorian propriety. Some call it "cold".

It is, however, also this air of refinement that makes this bustling city so elegant and sophisticated. You could be told to bugger off and never know it, as it would be muttered through clenched teeth and a forged smile.

It's the city every other Canadian city loves to hate. It's dirty, rude and crime-ridden, decry her most hardened critics. But in a recent statistical report, Toronto actually came out third to last in police-reported crime statistics. Topping the list were the prairie towns Regina, Saskatoon and Winnipeg. As for being dirty and rude, Torontonians (this author is one) like to call it grit and character.

True, the city's inhabitants walk with steady purpose and may mow you down should you dare to amble leisurely down Yonge Street during pedestrian rush hour. But they do, after all, work in the economic engine of the country and have a lot of work to do. And if you live in a mono-coloured city of cookie-cutter houses in the rolling hills of suburbia, then yes, you may be thrown by the traffic, the diversity and the colourful characters you may meet. But remember, you're not in Kansas any more.

If there's one city where a bit of attitude can actually go a long way, it's here, the concrete jungle where the craziest dreams come true. It's where the best of the best come from all over the world, clamouring over each other in a mad dash to get to their respective top - be it acting, writing, finance or some other kind of worldwide domination. So New Yorkers can be forgiven for being a rough and tumble crowd.

At any time in New York, you're walking among the most competitive, cut throat species in the world, and the most dejected, dispirited failures who've been repeatedly told they're crap. It's natural selection at its most brutal.

As the saying goes - for tourist and actor alike - if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

A dichotomy exists in Seoul that foreigners may find confusing. On the one hand, customer service is absolutely stellar. Every morning, the first customers to walk through shopping centres and retail shops are greeted by rows of sales associates who bow to you as you enter. Business cards are handed over with two hands, in a show of respect and deference.

On the other hand, drivers in Seoul have no mercy, going through red lights, ploughing down pedestrians at marked stops and screeching through the city with a lead foot. Nor do Koreans have qualms about asking strangers personal questions - a cultural norm that can often be mistaken for being rude and nosey. Subtlety is not a Korean forte, as foreigners may also find themselves being gawked at. Like the cuisine, garlicky and fiery hot, the Korean temperament can come on a bit strong.

As one of the most densely populated places in the world, squeezing 53,110 people a square kilometre into its most crowded district, you can understand why competition is fierce for almost everything in Hong Kong. That includes just a seat on the subway, as well as being heard - with seven million residents living in a city that had nowhere else to build but up, voices here tend to rise in a cacophony of sound that becomes white noise.

Pedestrians navigate narrow alleyways, where exotic sights and smells greet the visitor. Hong Kong can be daunting to strangers but it also shows you how a teeming, dynamic metropolis can coexist with green space. About three-quarters of Hong Kong's total area is countryside, 40% of which is designated as country parks.

One of the most beautiful cities in South America is also famously one of the most dangerous. Tourists are particularly vulnerable to predatory pickpockets during the city's annual Carnival, and at night. Cariocas, residents of Rio, have been described as pushy, but that's also to be expected when living in one of the most densely populated parts of the planet, and especially if you're an impoverished local living in one of the many shanty towns - favelas in Portuguese - that exist alongside the most posh parts of Rio.

Rio's city's crime rate can be intimidating to naive travellers but it's nothing a bit of common sense shouldn't allay. Dress like a local with a pair of flipflops and a Bermuda hat. Leave the expensive jewellery at home and don't travel with a lot of cash. After all, what more do you really need than a beach towel and some sunscreen?

They're not exactly known for being warm and fuzzy. But if Russians are reserved, aloof and expressionless in public, it's partly because their country has suffered more than its fair share of war and oppression. That kind of suffering tends to trickle down to subsequent generations in the form of stoicism and a certain wariness.

At the same time, many Russians find the western culture of smiling at complete strangers to be the stuff of half-witted, flaky fools. As with every other foreign travel destination, don't expect the kind of hospitality you may be used to at home to be at your beck and call here.

It's a city that hosts every aspect of humanity. Some of the world's most impoverished people live in the slums and shantytowns of Mumbai next to the glitziest, richest and most beautiful people in India. Nearly 14 million people live in this city of grit (think Slumdog Millionaire) and glamour (Bollywood is the largest moviemaking industry in the world). No one takes it personally when Mumbai-dwellers shove past each other, jostling to get to their destination.

After a Reader's Digest feature named Mumbai the rudest city in the world in 2006, an editorial in the Times of India acquiesced, chastising the place for its boorish behaviour, sticking gum on seats and spitting at pedestrians from running buses. But in a city where everyday survival is the name of the game for many of its inhabitants, it's forgivable that civilities fall by the wayside.

:o))

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